"You can always just take off his pants."

in eight years i think that is possibly the creepiest thing to ever come out of my wife's mouth. thank benny lava it wasn't said along with something involving rob.
needless, it wasn't. it was me walking little señor vamonous around the house. mind you, i was not picking him up and walking with him, i was holding his hands and he was walking. and his midget pants kept falling down and making it hard to walk. so when i expressed this to the wife she said, "you can always just take his pants off."
this has been going on for weeks now. not the part about my wife wanting me to take the kid's pants off. but the little fucker is bound and determined to walk. fuck crawling. "i want to move like mommy and daddy." and he walks a lot like daddy when he's been drinking the Jooze! big melon-head swaying and fucking up his balance. he's happy when you help him walk. put him down to play with toys? fuck that. let's walk!
i get everything from jason saying "wrap yo' shit up because he's only making way for another" (yes he's black and he's talking about condoms.) to everyone from the doctor to the google-enthusiast wife saying "he's progressing so far! way beyond where he should be." so i am torn between the possibility that a wife's tale is going to outweigh a fact.
truth be told, at this juncture, i would rather him be laying on the floor drooling on himself than to have the possibility of another one on the way. i don't see how catholics do it. 6.. 7.. 20 kids.. one right after the other? what the fuck? maybe that's why the priests condone fucking little boys.. no worries there! god didn't put ovaries in a boy's ass!
but overall, i have started to come around to the whole kid thing. sure, i'm still not comfortable when he cries for no reason. i still do not envy the fact that my wife has to keep up with him all day. and i have this sinking feeling that i'm still not doing enough around the house.
having a kid is not what i pictured at all. hollywood is full of shit about babies.. but it's like me with sports. watching it on tv or on the internet is quite boring. but when you see it live, it seems to make more sense. i still don't really get it, but it's more real to me. i'll become a fan eventually, just not today.